Remsen

After all these years, you would think I would know how to describe this place, and while I'll always call it home, while I ever feel as though I fit in?

Tonight was a benefit dinner/aution/dance for Carly, the three year old daughter of Bill and Brenda, who is battling cancer. It is so amazing to see the number of people who came to this event. The event was put together by Bill's high school classmates, who graduated 20 years ago, some still from Resmen and others traveled from out of town. There were many items donated for the auction (which included things from John Deere & CaseIH tractor merchandise, Beer signs, beef, hay bails, and Iowa & Iowa State items.... typical for Remsen) and people were willing to spend hundreds of dollars on such things to help out a fellow Remsenite. It was during the dance when the DJ called Brenda and the girls out onto the dance floor that I sat there, looking to my high school girlfriends beside me (Gina, Diana, and Courtney) and a few of my other classmates scattered throughout the dance hall (and bar) that I couldn't help but think about the fact that 20 years down the road, if such a situation would happen to me, I could pretty much guarantee that they would all come together like this.

It kind of struck me as odd for a moment, because I started to think about how I've changed since my days of living and Remsen and how I've grown apart from some of those friendships, yet no matter what, the common bond of Remsen will always keep us together. Actually, it's all very reaassuring, but all I could about is all of you girls and how amazing our friendship is. You all know me for who I am and have encouraged me and inspired me as I continue to grow into the person I want to be.

growing pains

Are we all grown up yet or only just beginning? Some days I feel like this stage of growing up, becoming an adult (whatever that means) and figuring out who we are is even harder than adolescence. Maybe it's because puberty comes and is confusing and awful, but you experience it within the safety and comfort of home. This stage of growing up you're on your own in many areas. And that's how it has to be. But that's also what makes it so hard.

Next time I feel like I don't recognize myself, I'm going to find comfort in the fact that this is the second round of adolescence that no one tells you about. Maybe no one tells you about it because it never ends. I guess we'll find out.

andrea

kids

I got goose bumps reading the the last post with the phrase "glorious little moments that make life worth living."
Just before reading it, I was on a website that's like a blog for Carly, my friend Diana's three-year-old niece who is battling cancer. Through the blog, her Mom keeps everyone updated on Carly's progress and often tells little stories about Carly that alway amaze me as I realize how strong a three-year-old can be and how even through the pain, she's still a kid, so innocent and sweet.

There's something about kids that always remind me about those little moments that make life worth living. I often look at the picture that I got from andrea with the child-like drawings to remind me of this. The colorful characters in my picture are dancing and this is what it says:

"they came to sit and dangle their feet off the edge of the world and after awhile they forgot everything but the good and true things they would do someday"

I love those words "good and true" —things that are blessings from the Lord above.

-becca

my life in post-it notes

You have all seen my desk area enough to know that I tend to go overboard with post-it notes. Any time I have an idea or something that needs to be done it gets a post it note. I have lists of movies I want to see, restaurants I want to go to, things I need to get done. There's nothing more satisfying than accomplishing whatever is on the post-it note. Then I can cross it off or check it off and if there's nothing left on the post-it note I can throw it away. At the end of the day I usually end up sticking one or two notes in my purse, even though I don't usually look at them. Then I go to clean out my purse and find random lists and phone numbers. Yesterday I found a quote that I found somewhere and I love "glorious little moments that make life worth living." So beautiful, so true. Go find your moment.

a

Really Happening

I’ve hit the 90% benchmark. The finish line is just steps away. Amazing.

In Orlando when we calculated our support goal, I remember how daunting that number was. Fear overcame me. I wanted to cry. What in the world was I getting myself into. My box had a measly 80 cards in it, while Shaly had two boxes full of contacts. I set my realistic goal for January, though in the back of my mind I knew it could be February or March before I actually finished raising money.

And here we are. We’ve overcome the daily tears of the first two weeks and the fear of cold-calling people. God has made me so confident of this calling in how he how he has strengthened me and how he has provided.

The last bit is coming quite a bit slower, but I am so confident of the Lord’s provision. I need to make sure I remember this lesson and how God will provide for me when I am discipling and mentoring when I feel void of wisdom or knowledge.

Thanks, girls, for all of your support both in prayer and financially. I am so blessed to have friends like you who are so supportive. I don’t know what I would do without you!

All things are possible.

-bo

realization of the year

So, I have realized this week, that I take myself way too seriously. From worrying about what other's think about my outfit to obsessing about relationships, some may say I'm gullible, some may say I'm self obsessed. I think it's a combination of the two. It's part of my worrysome nature I guess, but now that I've realized it I want to be aware of the times when I waste energy and emotions where it's not necessary. When I think about it, this shows how consumed with myself I am, that I think other people are as worried about me as I am. Does that make any sense?

I was talking to Adam about something unrelated, probably lamenting about something as trivial as my face breaking out, when I could just hear my dad sitting me down, and saying "Andrea, don't take yourself so seriously" I had probably gotten upset about a comment somebody made and blown things out of proportion. As a parent, who loved me, he didn't want me to be carrying around this weight of worrying and seriousness at such a young age. It was such a clear memory. I want to ask him about it and ask him why he thinks I worried so much. It may sound crazy, but I want to understand who I was as a child and how it has shaped who I am today. Maybe it will help me grasp who I'm becoming, or maybe I've just read the back of too many self help books.

any thoughts?

ac

family

What is it about your family that can automatically bring out the worst in you? For me it's my mom. I see myself as a young, confident, independent professional, but give me five minutes on the phone with her and I morph back to the whiny 16 year old, who she can bring to tears almost instantly. It makes me feel so young.

Adam and I decided we would spend Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine. Deep down I realized I am disappointed to be missing a holiday with my family. I told my mom our plans, but asked if we could still stay at their (not mine anymore) house and she said no. If you celebrate with his family, you can stay with them. That hurt. I know I jumped to conclusions and didn't let her explain before saying I didn't want to talk and hung up. I know when you marry someone you leave your father and mother to cleave to your spouse, but I wasn't ready for this. I love Adam, but I still feel so young. I still want to go home and feel like a daughter. When did I become this adult? My mom will always be my mom, but I feel like the moment I became a wife, my identity as a daughter changed.

I know you girls may not be married, but do you share any of my feelings? What a year of transitions...

a

Identity Crisis

So, with my new job I decided to make Andrea Cooley an official entity. Now I introduce myself over the phone and in person as Andrea Cooley. Every morning when I log into my computer I type a C instead of an S. This is going to take some getting used to. Right now it doesn't even look right. I really like S, C seems boring. I also think it adds to the confusion when things are acooley, because that's Adam. Maybe I should have found a husband with a different name (keep that in mind girls). My first day on the job, the editorial assistant had to ask me if I was going by Schmidt or Cooley. I had filled out a contract typing my name as Andrea Schmidt, but signing it Andrea Cooley.

My other new identity is less significant in some ways, but still very exciting. I am an EDITOR. Today I was in a meeting for my group and the "editors" had to stay after for something, and I realized that that's me now. I'm not an intern or a freelancer. This is the real thing. WOW. The first weeks and months will be overwelming, but everyone is really nice and they all seem to think I know what I'm doing, so hopefully their vote of confidence takes me places I didn't think possible.

amc

God does the casting

(I'm a little overzealous and have decided to post twice in one night. If you're going to go, go all out, eh?)

I got an email from Danielle (my friend who got married in Fargo) on Monday letting me know that she would be in the DSM Tuesday night for a meeting Wednesday morning. So last night we debriefed on the last four-or-so years of our lives (with an emphasis on the wedding and life at present). Who knew I would be 22, sitting at Star Bar in Des Moines, IA with an acquaintance friend from high school? It makes me laugh at God and the way he brings people in and out of my life. People I expect to play minor roles may end up with substantial leads. -bo

Toastings

So girls, this is a bit delayed. I wrote this on Sunday night after returning from Perdue's wedding. Enjoy.


My big moment arrived on Saturday afternoon as I stood in front of all of the guests of Perdue and Matt’s wedding.

The toast did so much more than honor Perdue, it changed the way I look at them as a couple. It is not just a couple, but a pair of people who are right. Right in the way they treat each other and love others.

Practicing my script over and over in the hotel bathroom made me think about how true my words really were. Basically, it was kind of like putting the cap on a bottle of healing. I was handed the bottle almost two years ago, and it started being filled with tears. Later attitude was added, then confession, then time. I hope to be able to pour out everything I have learned to others who need healing.

As I stood in front of all of the guests, I was so joyful for their union and for the grace God has given me to be joyful for them. And, I made Perdue cry…always a good sign.

Cheers! -bo

Like

Last night as Janelle and I made our final trip to the paint store as we are certain that we’ve finally picked out the right color...while which we were sharing stories with each other when Janelle pointed out that I said the word “like” a lot. She use to say it too, but broke herself of the habit when her father informed her it makes her sound young... now she’s worried that she’s going to start using it again after listening to me use it so much... which in fact she sort of has. I guess I was starting to wonder then, have any of you ever noticed the frequent use of “like” in my speech? It reminded me a lot of the situation when freshman year, Bo really helped me break the habit of saying “ain’t.” Both Janelle and I noticed that I use it when I get animated and caught up in a story, probably because I don’t stop and think about it. But anyways, if I’m chatting with any of you and you notice me say that bad word...stop me.
Thanks -becca

weather or not

It's raining, here, who knew it was possible to take to 2 day break from the beautiful sun. And for some reason it's not bothering me like it would back home, I'm actully enjoying the change up. Plus I have found the perfect rainy weather morning combination, oatmeal, coffee, and warm socks... life is good.

Laura

weekends

Nothing too insightful here, just enjoying the last few hours of the weekend. Let me say that it's been so relaxing (from wine at summerset, to a whole disc of LOST), work tomorrow (first day on the job) will probably be a shock. But I have a fabulous new pair of brown shoes, so I'm ready to take on the world.

I love it that I can sit around like a bum and watch commercial-free tv. I know it sounds trashy, and really it is, but I think we all deserve a bag of candy corn (with peanuts mixed in of course) and a veg fest every once in awhile. What will they think of next? Any innovations at Paramount we should know about Laura?

have a wonderful week girls. i'll try to be more profound next time

a

fresh air

tonight I learned something about my roommate that's really going to bother me. I guess Janelle has really bad allergies in the spring... so bad that for about two months we can't have the windows open, even if I open the windows when she's gone, it will probably bother her when she returns. I don't know why, but I am just completely bumbed out about this. I love the fresh air, and having windows wide open...especially in the spring (and obviously the fall). Is it wrong for me to be all upset about this? I guess I'll just have to pray that this season won't last long.
-becca

Security

Tonight was an evening of odd discoveries for the lex. FIrst off, our sink has been leaking for awhile, we've made a few phone calls into Belva (our landlord) and it sitll hasn't been fixed. Well, when Aaron was over to help me paint the other night, I had him take a look at it and he said it was almost as if the pipe was stabbed with knife. Janelle then came up with the idea that maybe our maintance guy (who seriously is an old scruffy looking homeless guy who shakes) was probably entering our apartment to create damage so he would have a job. When she mentioned this, I really didn't want to believe it, I guess I never like to think the worse about someone. Then today when I was home for lunch, the toilet seat was up, something that would only happen if a guy used it and from the moment we left for work and came home for lunch, the only thing we can assume is that our maintance guy was in our apartment. So now we must decide if we go against the lease and change the locks ourself or contact Belva and someone how make it clear to her that we want them changed and while she can have a set for herself, we don't want the maintance guy to have access. I guess it made me think a lot about how secure we need to be. I grew up in a town in which we never took our keys out of our car and while we may have locked our house at night, most people would have a key to their home on the set the was in the car. I know that this is a situation we have to address and a dead bolt lock will probably be something we want to install, I guess I don't know if these discoverires really have me questioning the idea of how security or if I just feel bad to be making such conclusions about the maintance guy when really they are just our assumptions, but then realizing too that their are some crazy people out there and maybe I should be more concerned.

Odd moments

I love it when I'm just going through my daily life and all of the sudden something sparks a truly wonderful time memory of friends, home, or crazy experiences. I just had one of those priceless moments. I decided to work from home today giving me the luxury of listening to my music as I sort through these meeting notes. About an hour in I realized I was listening to the same song on repeat and my darling room mate Amanda must be going crazy. I could help but laugh think of Lynn packing up our dorm room listening to the same Michelle Branch song at least 15 times in a row.... oh and Andrea & I in the other room holding back our giggles. Things like that make my day. :)

Laura

God Light

I’m sitting enjoying my SoCal sunset. I laugh because it doesn’t really even involve the sun… I’m in the garden outside at the Bronson Gate, looking at the huge pillars and ornate gates just loving how the sun is splashing on the on that golden brick. The boys in the business call it God light, perfectly cascading through the evening clouds gently illuminating the things you would otherwise walk by everyday. Just as soon as you stop to notice the beauty the sun slips quietly away. Today I sit and look at the historic Paramount gates and 'count my blessings'. These days homesickness has settled in and I long for things familiar, falling leaves, crisp air, and smiles on the faces of people I know. My longing for home has temporarily blinded me and allowed my to forget about the amazing blessings that have been laid at my feet. Tomorrow I will thank God for sunshine, a job, gas in my car, a bed, and friends at all stages.

Laura

home

So, my parents are moving from my childhood home in a month. Adam and I were in Cedar Rapids for the weekend, and it is probably the last time I will ever be in that house, at least when it feels like home. I didn't really know what to think when I left yesterday. I tried to take a minute to look around and soak it all in. I'm kind of glad I won't be there when it's all boxed up. I think that would be sad. I was thinking as I walked upstairs in the dark Saturday night when everyone else was asleep (you weren't home yet) how I have the space memorized. I know where to walk around the coffee table, how to feel my way up the stairs and reach around the corner to turn on the bathroom light. When I lived in the attic I could make my way from the bathroom, through Karen's room and up the stairs with my eyes closed. And the tree in the backyard is just starting to turn that luminous gold color that fills the attic with a soft glow and air with a crisp scent. How many years did we rake those leaves, jumping in the piles dad would make on a sheet before dragging them down the driveway to the street. And how many hours did we spend on the driveway, playing horse and shooting free throws. riding our bikes up and down the hill, down the sidewalk, around the corner and back home, making one last loop before it was time to go to bed. I remember bake sales and kool aid stands, garage sales and picnics. first dates and first kisses. I could go on and on. But I'll stop for now.

andrea